Just got the call from Vanderbilt hospital …. My PSA level was UNDETECTABLE …. which means I’m good to go – no sign of cancer any more … next check up is in 6 months. I can’t begin to express how relieved and happy I am … it’s been a long difficult 5+ months and now the best possible news. Now its checkups every 6 months to make sure it stays gone. Praise God and thanks to everyone that have been keeping me in their thoughts and prayers all these months. This is truly the sweetest of all days.
6 weeks since surgery tomorrow but today was a trip to Vanderbilt Hospital for my long anticipated follow-up and blood work. Doctor said the usual positive things. From all accounts my bladder recovery is ahead of the norm and time will address other issues and concerns he said. He was confident they got all the cancer but held out the possibility there could still be some left behind as there was cancer cells found growing on one of the edges of my prostate. My PSA blood work will answer that question. They drew blood today and I should get a call tomorrow with the results. My two new friends that had the same surgery on the same day as me have both had there blood test completed and both had great results as their PSA levels were undetectable. This is what you want it to be. We are hoping when my results come in we will be 3 for 3 that are cancer free. It has been a long journey since my diagnosis back in February.
Today was sweet but tomorrow will be even sweeter.
What measure of time is really needed to be still so that we may become whole or holier? Is the division and planning of our time that essential to our existence that we can’t enjoy its passing unless we can measure it in some productive way? To simply “be” in a world moving as fast as this one seems counterproductive in worldly thinking. Spiritually thinking it’s essential to just “be” with God no matter how brief the encounter. That’s real productivity. However, there seems to be no time for that, no matter how small the slice of time we cut, we resist being still in his presence even briefly as we give our time freely and plentifully to less loftier pursuits. Why must we always be about our business of self … not our Father’s business as Jesus was while growing up as a child when his parents lost track of him while visiting Jerusalem and they found him at the temple. (Luke 2:49) It is a tough business model and lowly standard that we employ today but we relish the fast pace and our own constant thoughts of planning for self-fulfillment . If we should break away from it’s grip it’s only temporary and the time spent with our heavenly Father seems woefully inadequate when compared to the time spent pleasuring ourselves and planning our next steps.
I have only brief flashes of unselfish time in my life that I dedicate to others and to pursuits other than myself. I also have what can only be described as slivers of quite time spent with God but until those become the norm and the dominate theme of how I spend the time in my life I’m afraid I still leading a life in search of and struggling for permanent change to take hold and switch those priorities in my life around. If left to my own devices will that ever happen?
Tomorrow will mark 5 weeks since Prostate Surgery. My surgery scars are almost gone … just a few small scabs left where they punched 6 holes in me to attach the Da Vinci Robotic machine in order to perform the surgery. This is a vast improvement over the open type surgery of the past and I actually feel like I didn’t even have surgery it has healed so quickly. Inside there’s much more going on as things continue to heal where it counts the most. I continue to do the Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles that directly affect the control of my bladder but total bladder control has not returned yet. This could be a long journey of months maybe even a year before I’ll know if I’ll ever have full control again. This is one of the most frustrating, humiliating and worrisome aspects of having prostate surgery. Leaking some urine occasionally throughout the day is not a fun thing at all and plays on your mind and can wreck havoc on your daily activities and choice of undergarments that must be adjusted to cope. The other area of concern is of course sex. This is another area that takes a heck of a hit to your manhood and will require much adjustment as well to get use to and make allowance for continuing to even enjoy sex any more without some type of aid of which there are many to choose from. Nevertheless suffice to say life will never be the same in this department ever again. With these two issues to deal with it is easy to see now just how different life will be without a prostate as part of my body.
I’m still waiting for some good news regarding all this but my follow-up appointment and PSA blood work won’t be done until the middle of July. I sure hope the news is positive and that they got all the cancer out. Hopefully I’ll find that out soon. One of my other friends that had the same surgery the same day as mine is having his follow-up appointment today. I am anxious to see what the doctor tells him and what his PSA blood work shows.